Blue Day Box Positivity: Or…Why I don’t consider myself a packrat

By Gwen Auckloo

Being and staying positive in this field is tough. When you have good days in Student Affairs the idea of staying positive is the last thing on your mind. But we’ve all had those days where you seriously question yourself…on those days? I get into a funk that sometimes is hard to get out of. I have a few things that I do in order to be positive.

Starbucks

The first “go to” that I have is a relatively new fix. I am lucky enough to work with a bunch of Starbucks addicts who have taught me how much help the act of getting off campus for even an hour is. I go off campus and when I return I am able to look at things with a new viewpoint. Sometimes those of us who live on forget that there is a world outside the bounds of campus and the feeling of not being able to “shut off” can get overwhelming. Going to a local coffee place allows me just a little bit of time to think about other things and not be all about what I am doing.

On other days the simple act of going to youtube and watching videos like the one above works just fine and allows for me to refocus and find the positive in my day…because who can’t smile when you hear a penguin laughing?

But, if I’m being honest with you, dear internet…the best way to get me out of my funk is my blue day box.

My overflowing Blue Day Box

What is a blue day box? It is a blue box (obviously) that I put cards, notes, drawings in and when I am having a day where I need the pick me up I go back and read through them. Seeing notes of encouragement from people I love and respect, the doodle my friend drew me when I moved from the Midwest to my job in New Jersey, and thank you notes from friends and coworkers all make me smile.

But that’s not all.

At the end of my first year as a professional I wanted to do something with my staff to commemorate the end of the year. So…I had them make each other blue day boxes and exchange notes with each other. I just didn’t expect them to write me notes too.

Sweet notes

I have received some of the sweetest notes from those staff members and from staff members in the following years that to this day not only make me smile but it reminds me of why I got into this field There are notes thanking me for believing in them, naming a particle after me that is “responsible for the bonds that hold a staff together,” and thank you’s for the tough conversations that I’ve had with them.

It’s those notes that will ultimately pull me out of my funk and remind me why I do what I do and it pushes me on to another day. As Student Affairs professionals we have to do things like this to keep us going and to remind us of the good and fantastic things that we are doing because at the end of the day, that is what matters and that is what you remember.

Realistic Positivity

 

For the longest time, I tried to stay positive about everything. No matter how challenging the situation that arose, I would try to find the positive aspects and focus on those, while disregarding some of the negative aspects of these situations. And for the longest time, it worked.

But then, after a doing this for a while, this consistent positive thinking began to take a toll on me. I realized that it was draining to always keep up this positive attitude for many reasons:

•  First, so many people like to complain about things and get pessimistic. Of course I complain as well, just like everyone else. However, I typically  reserve this behavior for environments that I feel safe and comfortable in (with close friends, family, etc.).

• Also, there are times when positivity is not always the best approach to take. For example, if I am in a dangerous environment, merely thinking about the best outcome will not simply make it happen. In the video above, the narrator talks about our ancestors seeing a bear, and how they needed to act, not just think that everything would be okay.

•  Finally, keeping a constant positive attitude does not provide any conflict. While conflict is not necessary for every situation, providing feedback (even negative feedback) will typically help to ensure the best outcome.

During Winter Training of this past year, after I was starting to feel particularly drained from always remaining positive, I decided that I want to try incorporating a new outlook on life; realistic positivity. When I recently came across the video above and saw the concept of ‘realism,’ it reminded me of my concept of realistic positivity. To me, realistic positivity is accepting the fact that it’s not possible to always be positive. There are going to be plenty of times where negativity surrounds us, or a situation where staying positive may not be the best outcome. Realistic positivity is a hybrid between embracing realism and positivity.

Therefore, I will try to remain positive through most situations. However, I will not deny negative thoughts or feelings, as conflict can lead to a better outcome. So by acknowledging negativity, I will be figuring out a better way of handling a situation, and getting more out of the situation.

What do you do to stay positive? Do you have any tricks or things you like to do to keep things in perspective? And how do you incorporate negativity into work on a daily basis?